Common reactions The most common reaction on hearing of the death of someone close to you is shock. You can also feel some unexpected emotions as a result of shock.
You might: be in complete disbelief about what has happened feel nothing initially a completely normal reaction , before you eventually start to feel various emotions react strangely — for example, some people laugh. Everybody grieves in their own way, including: Physically: Headaches, feeling tired, achy muscles and nausea. Emotionally: Sadness, anger, disbelief, despair, guilt and loneliness. Mentally: Forgetfulness, lack of concentration, confusion and poor memory.
Behaviourally: Changes to sleeping patterns, dreams or nightmares, or to your appetite. You might or might not want to go out or be around people.
- Telling others about someone’s death?
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You may also experience unusual emotional reactions or feel weepy. You might also feel pressure to be strong for family or friends, or you may not feel like seeing anyone. Spiritually: Your beliefs may be challenged and you may struggle to have faith in the things that you once believed in. What can I do now? It can help with the grieving process.
Get some practical tips about coping with hard times. Tags Grief and loss Tough times Article Learn more. Related topics Anger Sadness Coping. Most cemeteries are owned by local authorities or private companies and are non-denominational although some have space dedicated to particular religious groups. In the case of a local authority cemetery, anyone living in the authority's area has the right to burial in the cemetery. Others may also be allowed burial, but for a higher burial fee. In most cemeteries there are various categories of graves. Some graves do not give exclusive rights to burial while others give the right of exclusive burial for a set period of time.
It is important to check the papers of the person who has died to find out if they have already purchased a grave space in a churchyard, cemetery or woodland burial ground. Although there is no law preventing burials on private land including a garden anyone wishing to do this should contact their local authority, who may issue a certificate confirming that the burial is lawful. This includes a wide range of information about burial and cremation, including information about burial on private land, for example, woodlands, farmland or gardens.
It also provides information on funerals without funeral directors, and environmental issues.
Death of a family member | City of Helsinki
You can contact the Institute of Cemetery and Crematorium Management at:. The Natural Death Centre can give advice on environmentally friendly burials, as well as on inexpensive funerals that do not need the services of a funeral director. Contact details are:. Most crematoria are run by local authorities.
A number of forms are needed before cremation can take place, including a certificate from a doctor, counter-signed by another doctor and an application form completed by a relative.
These forms are available from the funeral director. The costs of cremation are usually considerably less than the costs of a burial.
Why a Will Is Important
In Northern Ireland, you can ask for a priest, minister or clergyman to conduct a service at the crematorium. The crematorium can provide you with contact details if necessary. The person arranging the service may choose any form of service. If you do not want any form of religious ceremony, the British Humanist Association can give advice on a non-religious secular service.
What to do when someone dies
The Association's address is If you do not want a service of any kind the funeral director can arrange for burial or cremation without any form of service. If, for any reason, there is no body, a memorial service can be arranged instead of a funeral service. Ashes may be scattered or buried at the crematorium, either by crematorium staff or by relatives and friends. Ashes can also be buried in a churchyard or cemetery, often with a short service. Ashes can generally be scattered anywhere, but if you wish to scatter ashes on private land you should get consent from the landowner.
Although UK law allows ashes to be taken abroad, many countries have strict rules on the importation of ashes and it is important to check before travelling. Churchyards and cemeteries have firm rules about the size and type of memorials that are allowed and it is important to check on these rules before ordering anything. Church of England churchyards usually have more rules than local authority cemeteries.
Some woodland cemeteries permit wooden plaques but most will only allow the planting of a tree.
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In Northern Ireland you should contact your local minister, clergyman or parish priest before arranging the erection of a memorial. The design of the memorial may be subject to approval. The funeral director will usually apply to the church or cemetery authority for permission to erect a memorial.
The authority will normally charge for giving its permission. Names of local monumental masons can be obtained from the National Association of Memorial Masons. The address of the Association is:. At a crematorium there will often be a Book of Remembrance and relatives may pay for an entry.
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It may also be possible to buy a memorial bush with a plaque. If those attending a funeral have been asked to make donations to a charity, the funeral director will normally collect these and send them on to the charity. Relatives will be given a list of donations received. Most deaths now take place in a hospital or nursing home. If your relative dies in hospital, staff will contact you, lay out the body and arrange for it to be taken to the hospital mortuary. You will then be asked to arrange for the body to be collected by funeral directors, who will normally take it to their chapel of rest.
At the same time, you will be asked to collect the person's personal possessions. Before a death can be formally registered, a doctor will need to issue a medical certificate giving the cause of death. In hospital, this is usually done by a hospital doctor, who will hand the certificate to you in a sealed envelope addressed to the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages. You will also be given a notice, explaining how to register the death.
There is no charge for either of these. If the person has not been seen by a hospital doctor, their GP may be able to issue a certificate instead. A hospital may ask you for permission to carry out a post-mortem examination to learn more about the cause of death. You do not have to agree to this. In some cases, a doctor may not be able to issue a medical certificate of the cause of death.
There may be a number of reasons for this. If the doctor isn't able to issue a medical certificate, they will refer the death to the coroner. The coroner may order a post mortem examination.